^{Sponsored by Empty Political Rhetoric - We have so much of it, can it be an export to help with the trade deficit?}

Good Morning! Rise and Shine! Get that Cup O' Joe...
break out the O.J....hang out with the pooch...time to check out the Funnies!

Subprime Scream Therapy

^{Cartoonist: RJ Matson}

Congress RAPES America:

WASHINGTON-In a landmark decision, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (*Retire Aged People Early*). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (*/Special Help After Forced Termination/*).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (*/System Covering Retired-Early Workers/*).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (*Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse*) or HERPES (*Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance*).

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^{Cartoonist: RJ Matson}

Where Credit is Due

^{Cartoonist: RJ Matson}

Stificil - Latest Great Drug Innovation

^{Cartoonist: RJ Matson}

Should the Baby Skull Market Be Regulated?

^{Cartoonist: Mike Luckovich}

^{Cartoonist: Mike Luckovich}

The Onion reports on how Fed Chair Bernanke testifies money is an illusion.